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The Power – And Danger – Of Labeling People

When I think of labels, I think of shelves. Shelves of groceries – inanimate objects that provide varying degrees of nutrition. These labels include ingredients contained in the “food” product, the caloric value, fat content, and other nutrition facts.

Labels make things easy, especially one-word labels: They compartmentalize people and objects for us. That means we don’t have to think. We see or hear the label; assessment is done. Analysis is done. The object or person has been plunked into a box. And that makes labels dangerous.

The impact of labeling people was front and center at Bounce, the most recent session of TEDxDirigo. Several presenters spoke about the harm of using one word to define a person. Imagine the feeling of having one word describe everything about you. Is this a label that describes you all of the time? On a good day? On a bad day? Did you work hard to achieve this label? Who assigned this label to describe you? Are you proud of this label? What else would you like people to know about you?

How in the world can one word describe every aspect of the person you’ve become? Take a look at these words that we use to label people.

Let’s hit the reset button and begin anew. Let’s imagine that before describing someone we acknowledge that one word cannot possibly convey the depth of a person’s identity.
Let’s also acknowledge that the old nursery rhyme got it wrong:

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names will never hurt me.

Words carry tremendous power. Names hurt. Derogatory comments deflate us when we are at our most vulnerable. These presentations drove home to me that I am on the right track in rejecting labels. Yes, I’ve heard the argument that labels help other people understand us and realize that we all process information differently.

It’s been my experience, though, that labels allow people to respond to the label rather than to the person. Through the presentations at TEDxDirigo this weekend and some writing I’ve come across recently, I see that I’m not alone. I encourage you to:

  • Take a look at the TEDxDirigo November 7, 2015 presentations when they’re posted online sometime after Thanksgiving.
  • Read Pam Slim’s book, Body of Work, where she discusses multipotentialites.
  • Follow the link to Dr. Travis Bradberry’s article where he explores the concept of ambivert (think introvert / extrovert).

The next time you’re tempted to use a one-word label to describe someone, pause for a moment. Then think about what else you know about that person. Don’t know anything else about the person? Have a conversation, and learn a thing or two.

The Power – And Danger – Of Labeling People was last modified: December 1st, 2016 by Deb Nelson

Are Your Goals as Sweet as Halloween Candy?

Whether you’re talking personal or professional goals, they’ve got to light a fire under you the way Halloween candy motivates kids.

julia fridgeHow much time do you spend setting goals for your business and personal lives? And do you stack the deck in your favor by limiting the challenging goals so that you’ll be able to check off a lot of items with little effort? Or do you strategically set goals that challenge you, your colleagues, your family?

This photo was taken several years ago – after a successful Trick or Treating venture. Not one to be outsmarted by her Mom who had put the candy on top of the fridge for safekeeping, Julia quickly plotted her path to sugary bliss. She dragged the highchair over to the fridge, climbed up the highchair, and scaled that mountain. Execution was flawless, and the rewards were sweet.

This small act shows the power of a young child’s mind: with no fear of failure, and no obstacle too big to overcome, the strategic mind went to work. A boost from her chair was all Julia needed to begin her quest the sugar. Whatever ramifications might be in her future – falling, being caught in the act by Mom, realizing Mom had already eaten the good stuff – would not stand in her way. These risks paled in comparison to the goal of reaching that Halloween candy stash.

What do you think the world would be like if we followed Julia’s lead on a regular basis:

  • acting quickly on a hunch with the possibility we could reap a sweet reward?
  • seeking out those things that bring us joy and a sense of accomplishment?
  • throwing caution to the wind just for the heck of it?

Sure I realize we have adult responsibilities and that setting goals is a serious business. I also realize that when we bring that childlike belief that anything is possible, we can see a whole new world of opportunity. Give it a try; make sure the highchair is in place!

Are Your Goals as Sweet as Halloween Candy? was last modified: October 27th, 2015 by Deb Nelson

Looking at Everyday Items Through a New Lens

Does the idea of wearing clothing made out of household gadgets and gizmos sound unrealistic to you? It would have to me if I hadn’t seen a remarkable exhibit of work by students from Massachusetts College of Art and Design.

Dresses Made Using Egg Cartons (l) and Hair and Garbage Bags (r)
Dresses Made Using Egg Cartons (l) and Hair and Garbage Bags (r)

Strolling aimlessly to kill a little time before a reception, I was immediately drawn to the fashion exhibit on display the Center Court at Copley Place in Boston. What an unexpected treat for me and for so many other shoppers who normally race through Copley Place on their way to or from work.

Wearable Art 2015 showcases original ensembles from fashion design students at Massachusetts College of Art and Design. These students have taken simple items from everyday life and transformed them into beautiful works of design – wearable art that delights and amazes!

Dresses Made From Coffee Stirrers (l) and Coffee Filters (r)
Dresses Made From Coffee Stirrers (l) and Coffee Filters (r)

The unimaginable becomes undeniable while looking at these dresses created from:

Egg Cartons
Coffee Stirrers
Aluminum Cans
Coffee Filters
Feathers
Hair (yes, hair)
Plastic Spoons
Garbage Bags

 

This art show is a reminder to take a step back every now and then to re-assess our daily routine. How can you look at a challenge in in your work world through a new lens? How can you help unearth an employee’s skills? What will collaborating with a new partner produce for results? Who will decide where or whether to hold this month’s staff meeting? Keep asking questions; the answers just might surprise, entertain, and enchant as you share a new chapter of your story!

Looking at Everyday Items Through a New Lens was last modified: October 13th, 2015 by Deb Nelson

Loving the Journey of Life-Long Learning

Opportunity after opportunity presents itself to each of us to expand our knowledge, deepen our expertise, and enrich our lives. Make sure you’re paying attention when opportunity knocks.

When I was in my mid-40s I went back to school, earning a master’s degree in public policy and management. That degree was instrumental in advancing my career, allowing me to score a job as development director for a local United Way. Two years later, I was promoted to director of communications and development. While enrolling in this degree program had a direct and immediate impact on my career, it also fed my need to learn and to be engaged in my community.

It’s now ten years later and I enrolled in a program to become an integrative nutrition health coach. What, you ask? “You’re 55 and you’re going back to school AGAIN?” My answer: “You betcha!” The last four years have taken me on a journey I never envisioned: discovering the many paths to health following a cancer diagnosis. I’ve written a bit about how I, with no cancer diagnosis, started down this path and how I value curiosity.

Sometimes it’s not easy to question those in author by asking “Why?” or to say, “Hell yes” when presented with an opportunity that takes us out of our comfort zone. And, no, you don’t have to enroll in a degree program to experience life-long learning to enhance your knowledge and feed your sense of curiosity. Learning takes many formats. You can:

Attend a Conference or Workshop
Take an Art Class or Voice Lesson
Go for a Run or Bike Ride
Teach a Class
Take a Yoga or Tai Chi Class
Speak at a Conference or TED Talk
Learn to Speak a Language
Join a Mastermind Group
Network Network Network

Each of these activities will put you in a new environment and force your mind to work in a different way. Stretch yourself and enjoy the rewards!

Loving the Journey of Life-Long Learning was last modified: December 1st, 2016 by Deb Nelson

Three Lessons Salt Institute Has Taught Us

When the dust settles and Salt Institute’s fate is sealed, this story will make one heck of a case study.

Let me introduce you to Salt Institute for Documentary Studies (Salt). Information from the About page on its website says that Salt is:

salta non-profit school in Portland, Maine offering semester-long intensive programs in documentary writing, radio, photography and new media with a focus on powerful and responsible storytelling. We also exhibit documentary work in our gallery and host documentary-related events.

Students come from all over the US and other countries for fifteen weeks of intensive field research, workshops and seminars. Throughout the semester, students gather cultural materials and develop their craft to create documentaries of professional caliber.

What Salt does has been called ethnography, storytelling, cultural journalism, oral history, folklore, qualitative sociology, documentary photography, visual anthropology, non-fiction writing, NPR-style radio and long-form journalism. But we are less concerned about what to call what we do than how we do it.

Salt’s Board of Directors announced in mid-June that Salt would be closing its doors. The Portland Press Herald reported that the decision was based on the organization’s financial status and the inability to find a replacement for the executive director who had indicated she would be leaving the institution. Alumni were notified by letter after the decision was made to close Salt. A group of those alumni quickly formed Save Salt! and prepared a proposal which they presented to Salt’s board in an attempt to keep Salt from closing. Maine College of Art also reached out to the board to investigate some options available to Salt.

A month and a half later, The Boston Globe reports that “Maine’s Salt Institute may have found a saving plan.” And, hold onto your shorts for this one: Salt’s executive director and board chair “acknowledged that the school’s skeleton staff has had no time to seek corporate sponsorships or conduct fund-raising drives.” Say what? A nonprofit educational institution found no time for an annual campaign? Oh. My. Goodness.

Yes, I can be called a Monday morning quarterback and criticized for simplifying the situation. I wasn’t involved with the day-to-day decisions that had to be made at Salt. I’m relying on news reports and alumni comments for information in this post. And, of course, it’s often much easier to look back on a situation and see where the train went careening wildly off the tracks. That being said, Salt has offered up a variety of lessons for nonprofit staff and volunteers. Let’s take a look at three of those lessons.

  1. Put the structure in place to ensure sustainability of your organization. That structure includes staff, volunteer committees, plans to support the organization’s mission and vision. While this sounds simple enough and logical enough, Salt really missed the boat on this one. (Unfortunately, Salt is not alone on this one.)
  2. Identify and stay connected with your supporters. There are lots of “what ifs” to take a look at here:
    1. What if they had created a sense of urgency rather than a sense of desperation?
    2. What if they had connected earlier with alumni?
    3. What if they had reached out to the business community?
    4. What if they had reached out to the community that visited their exhibits?
    5. What if they had implemented robust fundraising and marketing campaigns?
    6. What if volunteer committees (in addition to the board) had been formed?
    7. What if tuition had been increased (currently at $10,000/semester)?
    8. What if they had reached out to collaborate with other arts organizations?

I’ll stop here, but you get the point. This is a quick list of low-hanging fruit.

  1. Ask for what you need. Whether it’s volunteer hours, donations of equipment, or the mighty dollar that will ease your organization’s burden, you won’t get it if you don’t ask for it. When your community knows what you need, it’s amazing what they’ll do to support nonprofits. Again, there are so many ways to connect with your community and let your followers know how they can help your organization. Those fundraising and marketing plans mentioned above – they come in handy here.

The announcement that Salt was closing its doors was met with surprise and shock by its alumni. Instead of accepting closure as Salt’s destiny, however, alumni are putting their storytelling skills to work as they rewrite the next chapter of Salt’s history. I look forward to seeing the stories that future storytellers of Salt will share with us.

do good work | share your story | advance your cause

Three Lessons Salt Institute Has Taught Us was last modified: August 3rd, 2015 by Deb Nelson

There’s Nothing New About Our Desire for Instant Gratification

We’re all in a hurry to get what we want. And, oh yes, we’re all busy, busy, busy. A spur-of-the-moment visit to the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum reminded me that our impatience and desire for instant gratification are nothing new.

A view from the JFK Library overlooking the Boston Harbor and the Victura, a gift to JFK on his 15th birthday from his father.
A view from the JFK Library looking at the Victura, a gift to JFK on his 15th birthday from his father.

It seems each generation thinks the one on its heels is has an entitlement issue – they know what they want, and they want it now. Baby Boomers, Gen Xers, Millennials, Generation Z – take your pick. Each generation has been accused of being the now generation. As in I want it now.

“[W]e’ll all be happier if we develop some self-control and avoid the habit of wanting everything this instant.” (Baby Boomers)

“Remember, this is the generation brought up on instant gratification.” (Gen Xers)

“Fundamentally there is one thing shaping the future of retail: the desire for convenience – and within that the desire for immediacy in a multichannel world.” (Millennials)

“This [proliferation of mass technology] has made Generation Z impatient and requiring instant gratification, an introverted and aloof generation, with a lower attention span.” (Generation Z)

And now back to my visit to the JFK Library. It seems President Kennedy saw that our impatience was interfering with long-term plans and goals, since he included these words in his inaugural address in 1961:

All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.

So…let us begin. And let us realize that some tasks and some goals are, indeed, worth beginning even though we’re not sure when they’ll be complete.

There’s Nothing New About Our Desire for Instant Gratification was last modified: July 28th, 2015 by Deb Nelson

Five Reasons Listening to Podcasts is NOT a Waste of Time

I know, I know. We’ve already got sooo many social channels vying for our time, and then there’s traditional media still keeping us entertained. So why add podcasts to the mix? Trust me, you’ll thank me for giving you a few excuses reasons to tune in to the podcast of your choice.

5 reasons to listen to podcastsPodcasts have been around for quite a while, and I’ve listened to a handful of interviews over the past couple of years. Recently, though, I’ve been making it a point to listen to podcasts regularly; and I’m glad I did. Here are five reasons to incorporate podcasts into your world.

  1. You’ll gain new perspective and focus. Pick a few personalities you like to follow and check out their interview list. I’ve learned things about myself and my business from people I’d never heard of before. I always benefit from taking a break from whatever project I’m working on and listening to a podcast. I return to the project with a renewed sense of urgency and focus.
  2. Opportunity to multitask. I’m not a big fan of multitasking. I find that doing one thing at a time suits me well. Like chewing gum while walking, though, I can handle listening to a podcast while walking. Gain some knowledge, get some exercise: SCORE!
  3. Expand your network. Connect with podcast hosts and their guests on social channels. Share your new-found knowledge with your social media audiences.
  4. Take a break from the 24/7 news world. I tend to get caught up in the breaking news. Unplugging from news that the media chooses to send my way and listening to a podcast I choose gives me control over what I’m paying attention to. AND – those stories that were breaking before my podcast began are still kicking around when the podcast ends.
  5. Learn from others before starting your own podcast. If you’re thinking of starting your own podcast, listening to a variety of podcasts is one of the best things you can do to prepare yourself before you come face to face with the microphone. Listen and learn: What kind of questions work well? What questions fall flat? What type of format appeals to you? How do you want your intro / outro to sound?

Here are a few podcasts I carry with me:

Being Boss, a podcast for Creative Entrepreneurs hosted by Emily Thompson and Kathleen Shannon.
Emily and Kathleen will help you get sh*t done! One element they add to the podcast world is brief podcast covering a specific topic: minisode. (Yes, they also offer lengthy interviews that are chock full of valuable info).

The Owner’s Mind with Chris Brogan. Grow your business by improving your capabilities and connections. Learn from business pros and owners just like you.
Chris is the kind of sharing and connecting. He shares his network and knowledge, with a great sense of humor mixed in for good measure. Not a business owner? No problem. You’ll still love this podcast.

Women Taking the Lead. Led by Jodi Flynn, this podcast features interviews with highly successful women who want to share their journeys of success with others.
Jodi’s interviews with women (and occasionally men) encourage women to trust themselves and move their careers forward. Need that inner critic silenced? This is the place for you. You’ll feel like you’ve found your tribe in no time at all.

What podcasts do you listen to that help move your business forward?

Five Reasons Listening to Podcasts is NOT a Waste of Time was last modified: July 7th, 2015 by Deb Nelson

Cia: Building Community Through Coffee, Ice Cream, and Art

Step into this café and step into a world of conversation, cuisine, and creativity.

Cia-JeannieHow lucky for South Portland, Maine that Jeannie Dunnigan and her wild notion of community relocated to the Knightville neighborhood. There’s no missing Jeannie on any day of the week: she’s the one in roller skates – yes, roller skates from days gone by, not to be confused with roller blades or inline skates. You might see her behind the counter at Cia Cafe, or rolling down the street to see what’s happening in this now-vibrant business community.

Jeannie’s take on things is simple: “Our mission at Cia is to serve our guests the best local coffee, local ice cream and local art work that Maine has to offer! I have always wanted to exhibit fine art in a relaxed and fun setting accessible to all.”

Jeannie invites local artists to be a part of her café – exhibiting their work which, of course, means she is giving them the opportunity to sell their work. Dick Sawyer, a gifted photographer who is also a friend and colleague, recently displayed his photographs at Cia. That’s when I got to see Jeannie’s dream play out: for the opening of the exhibit, she threw a party. Nothing new here – oh, except there was a band, and the band traveled into the street, and then across the street to encourage us to visit and support other shops in Cia’s neighborhood.

Cia-bandCia’s model for success is a breath of fresh air. Jeannie, her husband, and son are all involved in the business that draws people in to share a meal, a story, a laugh while appreciating the work of local artists. Food, stories, laughter: that’s what makes the world go ‘round, isn’t it? Thank you Cia for making our world go ‘round and ’round.

 

Cia: Building Community Through Coffee, Ice Cream, and Art was last modified: June 23rd, 2015 by Deb Nelson

Press the Send Button: Scary and Freeing

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Scary moment of the day has passed. And at that freeing moment, comes a feeling of giddiness I hadn’t expected. The email has been sent. The invitation has been issued. The worst that can happen? Rejection. The best that can happen? Oh my goodness; I just can’t imagine.

scary blogI’ll wait to hear back and follow up with this person I’ve asked to be involved with a book project I’ve been working on for four years. Fingers crossed, eyes open, sending the best of thoughts out into the universe.

As Chris Brogan would (and did) say: “Stop learning. Stop waiting. Do. The. Damned. Project.”

Throwing caution to the wind, step in, step up, and go for it. Your story needs to be told.

Press the Send Button: Scary and Freeing was last modified: June 17th, 2015 by Deb Nelson

The Power of Curiosity

“cu·ri·os·i·ty (kyo͝orēˈäsədē) noun a strong desire to know or learn something”

playground-664884_1280Think back to the time when you were a young child and every day was filled with wonder. What would you discover? What would you do? Where would you go? The day was overflowing with questions to ask and ideas to explore – all before breakfast!

Kids are smart enough, and naïve enough, to keep asking questions (Why? What does that mean?) until the answers they receive make sense to them. As toddlers move through childhood, and as adolescents become adults we stop asking those questions as often as our toddler selves.

Why do we stop questioning? Is it because it’s not cool to ask questions? Is it embarrassing to acknowledge we don’t understand a concept, a word, the rationale for a policy? Do we fear rufflinlg feathers by asking why? How many times have you asked a co-worker why they’re doing something and gotten the response: “we’ve always done it this way”?

children-593313_1280 blogWhen our curious self responds to “we’ve always done it this way” with “how about if we look at another approach,” magic can happen. Curiosity keeps us engaged. Curiosity moves us to discover new solutions to age-old issues, whether at work, at home, or at play. So, please, bring back your inner two-year-old self and ask those questions: Why? What does that mean? And keep asking until you get an answer that makes sense to you. Maybe you’ll wake up the next day with a renewed sense of wonder and yearning to explore.

The Power of Curiosity was last modified: June 9th, 2015 by Deb Nelson