When I think of labels, I think of shelves. Shelves of groceries – inanimate objects that provide varying degrees of nutrition. These labels include ingredients contained in the “food” product, the caloric value, fat content, and other nutrition facts.
Labels make things easy, especially one-word labels: They compartmentalize people and objects for us. That means we don’t have to think. We see or hear the label; assessment is done. Analysis is done. The object or person has been plunked into a box. And that makes labels dangerous.
The impact of labeling people was front and center at Bounce, the most recent session of TEDxDirigo. Several presenters spoke about the harm of using one word to define a person. Imagine the feeling of having one word describe everything about you. Is this a label that describes you all of the time? On a good day? On a bad day? Did you work hard to achieve this label? Who assigned this label to describe you? Are you proud of this label? What else would you like people to know about you?
How in the world can one word describe every aspect of the person you’ve become? Take a look at these words that we use to label people.
Let’s hit the reset button and begin anew. Let’s imagine that before describing someone we acknowledge that one word cannot possibly convey the depth of a person’s identity.
Let’s also acknowledge that the old nursery rhyme got it wrong:
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names will never hurt me.
Words carry tremendous power. Names hurt. Derogatory comments deflate us when we are at our most vulnerable. These presentations drove home to me that I am on the right track in rejecting labels. Yes, I’ve heard the argument that labels help other people understand us and realize that we all process information differently.
It’s been my experience, though, that labels allow people to respond to the label rather than to the person. Through the presentations at TEDxDirigo this weekend and some writing I’ve come across recently, I see that I’m not alone. I encourage you to:
- Take a look at the TEDxDirigo November 7, 2015 presentations when they’re posted online sometime after Thanksgiving.
- Read Pam Slim’s book, Body of Work, where she discusses multipotentialites.
- Follow the link to Dr. Travis Bradberry’s article where he explores the concept of ambivert (think introvert / extrovert).
The next time you’re tempted to use a one-word label to describe someone, pause for a moment. Then think about what else you know about that person. Don’t know anything else about the person? Have a conversation, and learn a thing or two.
There is one word missing from the chart Deb which would have affected me had my parents not been wiser and taken timely action. My Kindergarten Teacher gave me this label when I was 4 years old – Clumsy.
I had a Kindergarten Teacher back at PS 183 in New York who would keep shouting at me and as a sensitive child, I would end up spilling juice during lunch time almost on a daily basis if she came near me. This continued even in 1st Grade (we continued with her) and it hurt me more when she actually came to see my parents at home to complain about me. They heard her out patiently and then had a little chat with me because my report cards from my Montessori School (which I still have) indicated a ‘bright, intelligent and graceful child’.
When I told them about what was happening at school and my fear of the Teacher, they took it up with the Principle and I was transferred to another class where the teacher was more patient. It meant being shifted to a class where the students were not supposed to have been so bright (1A to 1B) but I flourished under Miss Cameron’s care and that showed in my report card. I even got to bring the class pets home for summer and winter breaks because she considered me responsible!
I hate it when people are labelled, Deb and even more when it comes to children. I wonder whether the role models even realize what they are doing?
I wish people would be more sensitive about how they use language to label other – particularly with kids, as you mentioned. I suspect most don’t realize the impact a few misplaced words are having on young people. With so many speaking out, let’s hope we’re evolving to a world using kinder and more thoughtful language.
When my designer friend and I were creating my recent branding, we took a lot of the ideas you expressed in this article to actually Stop people from thinking in one linear way about who I am and what I do. Even my main branding word “Multifacetist” expresses that I am much more than one thing. For the Introvert/Extrovert category we came up with InOutrovert (an extroverted introvert). The main purpose was to start conversations. To have people ask questions and be curious. I think that is the point of your piece. One word says little and compartmentalizes the person. Many words and even creating new words, brings a very different dimension to the conversation and how people “see” them. Thanks for the resources too Deb, and I did read Pam Slim’s book just recently.
Love your approach, Beverley, to spark conversations. Your wordplay will get people talking, rather than shutting down conversations – and yes, you are definitely more than one thing and occupy more than one box at any given time. Grateful for your presence and input!!
Great article. Hit home to my childhood when I was labelled on many different levels. The on that I still have a huge resistance to is Learning Disability…yes I have one, although I’d argue we all have one, it is just that for each person it different.
Having that “label” at time when there was little understanding had teachers thinking I’d never get anywhere. Fortunately not all teacher thought that way and definitely not my parents. So I was empowered to succeed, to move past that label .
It’s scary how a label at a young age can stay with us our entire lives. Teachers can do so much good encouraging kids, yet these labels stay with us and sting for years. I agree that we all have different learning styles that can be labeled learning disabilities depending on the teacher’s approach. I’m glad your parents helped you move past that label so you could leave that label in the dust!!
You forgot something along the lines of “goofball” or “ditsy,” which tend to be the words people still give me! (I tell people it’s all a ruse, lol, unless, of course, I have done something horribly wrong.) We are all so much more than one name. I was actually writing a blog post for next week on this. I may have to wait a couple of weeks from now, lol, since I’ve read yours.
Hi Liz – Yes, there are tons more labels that I haven’t included. The chart is just a tiny sampling of the words we use to compartmentalize people. So many people have had situations just like you’ve had – where words have been thrown around to describe them. years later, the sting is still there. I’ll look forward to reading your post on this topic=>
Labels a lot of times are assigned on first impressions which I find do not define the individual. If you have had a bad day and meet someone for the first time do you want them to label you as Ugly or Angry…not likely. Single word labels would never be able to define a true character, unfortunately all to often that is not the case. Great post I enjoyed very much.
Thanks Joe – I agree with your comment that labels can be the result of first impressions. It’s time for us to slow down and make sure the first impression lets us take in the whole person. I’m looking forward to that day!!
Great post Deb!
Putting labels on people will always come back to bite you! Never really understood why people do that lol maybe there is some insecurity going on there?
I feel that if you think you need to put a label on someone, that you first get to know the person and rethink that kind of thought process 🙂 Never a good thing to do to anybody!
Totally agree Joan – even when we intend labels as a compliment, we shortchange people by focusing on only one aspect of their being.
Very interesting blog! I know we tend to judge other people and put labels on them. I like that you said “Don’t know anything else about the person? Have a conversation, and learn a thing or two.” Before putting labels on other people, we should learn more about them. It’s very important! Thank you for sharing 🙂
Hi there! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of
my previous room mate! He constantly kept talking about this.
I ‘ll forward this article to him. Quite
certain he’ll have a good read. Thank you for sharing!